Most students want to make their parents proud, which sometimes means achieving academic excellence above all else. However, what happens when your parents have different goals for your academic performance than you do? For that matter, what if you want to pursue a different career path than what your parents want for you?

Disagreeing with your parents about your academic goals can be a challenging experience. It can create tension in your relationship with them and cause you to second-guess your own aspirations. You want to trust their judgment, but it is also vital to remember that your success will ultimately be determined by achieving meaningful and important goals. (After all, you have to live with your choices in this matter.) How can you find the balance between what you want and what your parents want for you?

Start By Listening to Their Reasoning

One of the most important steps is to openly and honestly discuss your academic goals with your parents. Instead of outright rejecting their expectations, ask them about their reasoning for why they want you to pursue specific paths. As much as possible, try to understand their point of view while also communicating your own goals and aspirations.

Talk to Your Parents About Your Options

Your parents may have a limited understanding of the current academic landscape and career prospects available. They could be pushing you towards pathways that were traditional in their time but which may not be relevant to your current options. There may be alternative options, and how they can still lead to the success you deserve. A wise way to approach this is by selecting highly informative resources to share with your parents about recent career choices, academic career development, and viable career endeavors. This way, you can show them options they may have never known existed.

Find Common Ground

While your reasons for going down a specific academic pathway may differ, there is almost always common ground that you can find. Try to identify a shared value or interest and explore how you can target your interests in a way that aligns with your parents' values. Look for places of agreement.

Consider a Compromise

Compromise is critical in any relationship, especially when there are disparate goals. This does not mean completely abandoning your interests, but it suggests meeting your parents somewhere in the middle. Look for opportunities for a win-win scenario.

Seek Support from an External Source

Sometimes, it can be helpful to involve a third party, like a career advisor or student counselor, to provide an unbiased opinion. An external source can even help to validate your perspective by recommending certain pathways, showing your parents how the options you seek out correspond with your academic and career goals. Likewise, you may discover that you are resisting your parent's expectations for reasons other than personal preference—for example, you may be fighting self-doubt or academic struggles. If so, sometimes hiring a personal tutor to help you fill in those gaps will get you and your parents back on the same page.

Sometimes disagreement is unavoidable regarding academic expectations, but by focusing on shared values and exploring potential compromise solutions, you can usually find a solution that satisfies everyone involved. Remember that you have to live with your own choices, successes, and failures in the process, so do some soul-searching to discover what you really want. Ultimately, success will feel much more rewarding when it is true to who you are and what you ultimately desire.

Call Vincent-Pope Tutoring us at (919) 593-1378 or contact us online today to learn more about how we can help.